It's 11:19am local time, and I am steadily pressing a terrified yet grateful me-shaped dent into this hotel doona, which is almost still red after what must be years of abuse by the Peruvian sun. Terrified, because I had in no way prepared myself for a stay here longer than the few hours of our layover between L.A. and Sao Paulo. Grateful, for the conclusion to the series of increasingly expensive fuckups on the part of LAN airlines YES I'M LOOKING AT YOU LAN which has extended our visit to Lima to about 42 hours and maybe $400 beyond anything we'd anticipated. To put it in perspective, I have experienced less frustration and internal mishaps/lack of communication at centrelink. Read that again. Centrelink. But don't go feeling too sorry for us yet! Clearly there are (somewhat mischievous) angels watching over us, because we just survived several car based trips through what is definitely a black hole in the road safety universe. As I said on facebook: in Peru there are no road rules, only a system of locally understood car horning. My worst nightmares were constantly almost coming true, being sure that any ONCOMING MINIVAN was going to continue to HURTLE TOWARDS US AT GREAT SPEEDS. I caught a glimpse of myself in the rear-vision mirror. I looked like an inflatable sex doll.
What can I say? The positive spin on this enormous turdball that has clogged up our holiday toilet... Is that at least Adam and I are going through it together. And this is not our destination, only the transit. After we make it from here to Sao Paulo tomorrow afternoon (Why do I feel like I'm assuming a lot?), we will never have to travel with LAN again. Truly, they are the rat king and airline least likely to succeed in customer service or BOOKING THE CORRECT DATE of our experience. Also their vegetarian sandwich was bloody bullshit.
There's a lot to celebrate when purchasing non stop airline tickets then...Once you have both settled into your destination and the environment becomes a tad familiar you'll feel the power and control of being able to make your own choices, hold tight it wont be long now ( : I remember Rox saying when we were in China and in the thick of traffic that the beeping horns were communicating 'Here I am, look at me I'm right behind ya!' Rather than 'Get out of the bloodly way or i will run you down!' It put a calming positive spin on the situation, it also helped that we went from point A to point B sitting inside a double decker bus from time to time and that the bus was bigger than the cars! Remember too that there are not only mischievous angels looking out for you but people who love you both very much. xxxx
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