Straght from the past to your face

Hi everyone!

We're in L.A. It's about midnight and Adam is, how shall I word this... 'sleeping conclusively.' And by that of course, all I mean is that he is breathing heavily and I am unable to wake him, even in the case of dramatic twists in the latest episode of Boardwalk Empire that I was watching on our hotel TV. Needless to say, my equally dramatic reactions to the episode were about as reciprocated as a letter to Santa.

This morning concluded a metric landslide of high-altitude activity which took us from Melbourne to Auckland and from Auckland to Los Angeles. In New Zealand all I managed to achieve was the sampling of the local beer before our second leg to Hamerica, [sic] but I'm sure you'd all agree that by this action I'm fulfilling my destiny as an Australian traveller, if not my personal destiny as the grandchild of alcoholics. HI MUM I AM KIDDING. Seriously, I ordered a 'pint' and paid 8 NZ bucks and got what was clearly a schooner, but I still love you, New Zealand.

So... DISNEYLAND!

Michelle, my might-as-well-enlist-in-the-army-she's-that-American work friend: you were right. One day is not enough time to experience all the park has to offer. Of course, it was rather magical. But we didn't get there with enough time to do many of the things we'd intended. This, heartbreakingly, means that I won't get to update my facebook profile with a picture of me (Tink) next to a more authentic (and probably not wearing hiking boots and tracksuit pants) 'Disney Tinkerbell'. However, we managed to pack in a pretty magnificent day into the few hours we had to spare. We first sacrificed our mental health to the psychedelic splendour of the 'Small World' ride, becoming as an aside, the billionth customer to make a 'drink the water' Simpsons joke. We chose our rides based on the number of warning symbols were happily pasted next to their places on the map. As a result we sampled a yell-worthy mountain roller coaster on a frontier themed train, and the enormous wet panic attack that was Splash Mountain. Being Christmas season, there was a whole Santa versus Mickey vibe to the whole thing, and attendants with glowing red lightsabres (I ASSUME they were lightsabres) kept 'moving us along' so as not to disturb the walkway by the Xmas parade that was smiling past after dark.

I have to say, my experience at the theme parks I've visited as an Aussie leaves me with an understanding that the whole Disney thing has an entirely different agenda. At home they just want to make a fat carnie laugh when you pay 5 bucks to soil yourself. There it's more journey or story oriented, and might I add, VERY over stimulating. I think I saw colours on that small world ride that were entirely new to me. Is this Disney's conspiracy to make you avoid travelling the world by overwhelming you with a puppeteered approximation of it? In conjunction with Fox News who tonight want the public to think that riot footage from Greece is actually happening in Russia despite the grecian lettering in the background?          

Mickey help me!

So, my friends and soon-to-be-enemies: That was America in 24 hours. I have never, ever seen that many mobility scooters.